Dru have you been to san antonio?

Dru- Yes, but not really explored it. I’ve only been in the city I think once, and that was over 10 years ago. In college I planned a scavenger hunt at the zoo, a trip to the gardens nearby, and a night on the riverwalk as a date dash kinda thing for my fraternity. Never really felt the need to go back because, well, Austin’s an hour closer and much more interesting. I’ve been meaning to revisit San Antonio one of these days, but man, that 3 1/2 hour drive from Houston is killer.

Hi Tramanh - I’m going to be in Europe for 2 weeks walking all around London, Paris, and Rome. I really need to find the perfect every day walking shoe/flats/sandal that doesn’t look ugly, but still fashionable and comfortable of course. I pretty much need a universal shoe/s. Do you have any suggestions? My trip is coming up soon, so any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Tramanh:  Sounds like a great vacay!  I’m not exactly sure what the weather is in Europe right now (is it still cold?), or if you’re looking for just ONE pair of shoes for all 3 cities?  I can tell you that wearing sandals in Rome, especially if you’re at the Colosseum or Forum, is asking for getting really dirty feet.  The past 2 times I’ve been to Paris, it’s been rainy. so sandals were a no no for me then.  But maybe it’s sunny now?

For flats, I’d say it depends on what your style is.  For shoes, I always prefer loafers or topsiders over ballet flats (I have an aversion to really rounded toes).  I don’t really own any tennis shoes.

Assuming it’s not raining, these suede moccasin loafers look comfy.  They have a rubber sole, which your feet will thank you for after walking around for 8 hours.  As cute as some shoes/sandals are, if you try to walk around in hard/flat-soled shoes for too long, your arches will be screaming.

leather version

Top-siders

These Vans are pretty cute.  I’ve never been able to successfully try on a pair of Vans that fit though.  My heel is short compared to the rest of my foot, so my foot slips out of slip-on shoes a lot.

My friend swears by Tieks.  I’ve never tried them, but I’ve personally seen her walk around on vacay ALL DAY with them on.  They’re a little pricey, but if they’re endorsed by Oprah (i.e.,  ”God”), they must be good.  Plus, they pack up so well, it might not be a bad idea to keep a pair in your bag in case your other (cuter) shoes start killing your feet.

As far as sandals? My feet are flat, so walking around in sandals all day is impossible….unless I’m wearing my beloved RAINBOW FLIP FLOPS.  Sandal trends lately are definitely flat and strappy, so if you MUST wear sandals, try to find a pair that has at least a little bit of padding and flexibility in the sole.  Like Birkenstocks lol.  I REALLY DO WANT SOME.

I’m studying abroad/vacationing in Cluny, France this June-July. Any advice? What to wear?

Steph: I haven’t been to France since I was like 9, so I don’t know, sorry.  But DRU said this might help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBhyXkuQtD0

(ps it doesn’t)

my bf and I broke up recently. Before the break, we planned an out of town trip for his friend’s wedding. After the break, he said it’s up to me if I still want to go. At the time, I said yes. I am now starting to doubt my decision because it took me a while to stabilize my emotions and I’m afraid this trip will set me back to square one. I do want to go because i thought this might be a chance to reconcile our differences, but that may not be wise either. Thoughts?

Steph: I can pretty much guarantee that if you go to this getaway wedding with your ex, it will leave you more confused than you were before.  If you two are serious about breaking up and staying broken up (moving on, healing, etc.) this trip is a pretty big step back.  

I KNOW we all want that closure to make sure that what you guys had, you no longer have.  But why doubt that now?  It’s been awhile, it took you some time to heal, seeing him in a little “bubble” of a vacation isn’t going to reaffirm you two should be broken up.  In fact, I can guarantee it will only harness unresolved and/or lingering feelings that you two may have for one another.  It’s not like you two are going to get 2 twin beds in your hotel room either; you two will spend a long period of time together in a very romantic setting where his friends are going to be married.  This is a recipe for getting back together or opening up wounds that you thought were healed.

The doubt you have that you should go is your gut telling you not to go.  I know you may think it’ll be your last hoorah together, but DO you need that?  Is it worth the pain/jealousy/aggravation of it all?

Skip the wedding - send the couple a card or a gift - and dodge that bullet while you have the chance.

Any recommendations for dc? (Aside from landmarks and monuments)

NOTE: Dru- sorry, this isn’t exactly the way you had asked the question, but it got cut off and this is the gist of what I remember your question was.

Dru- Sorry, first time I went was when I was a little kid, so we only saw the monuments. Last time I went was over five years ago and it was for a wedding, so again I didn’t get to explore anywhere.

Steph:  Sorry, I went 2 years ago, but we did the typical touristy stuff, nothing too “underground” when we wanted to see all the monuments. http://hoisinivy.blogspot.com/2010/11/crab-cakes-capital.html

Dru - Do you have the Canon 50mm f/1.8 lens? I have a few fancier zoom lenses which are SUPER heavy, and since I’ll be backpacking through SE asia and India / Nepal for two and a half months later this year, I’m looking to sub out at least one heavy zoom lens for the f/1.8. I’ve heard it’s a great one. Thoughts?

Dru- Lemme guess, you’ve got the Canon 24-70mm f/2.8 and the 70-200mm f/2.8, don’t you?

No, but I have the Nikon 50mm f/1.8. I’ve handled the Canon 50mm and it’s pretty much the same thing- super lightweight, super sharp, beautiful photos for only $120. My super talented cousin backpacks and travels the world and he only has a lightweight ultrawide f/2.8 zoom and maybe one other lens.

I only shoot prime lenses primarily because of the weight and better lowlight capabilities- Issa shoots weddings with a fancy Canon 24-70mm f/2.8 and she tells me that at the end of the night, her arms are killing her from the weight all day. If I had to travel, it would all boil down to my two essentials:

• 20mm f/2.8
• 50mm f/1.8

In fact, I shoot about 98% of my wedding photos with either of those two lenses.

If I wanna go crazy, I also toss in my:

• 35mm f/1.8
• 10.5mm f/2.8 fisheye

How often do you really need zoom? Oftentimes, this probably can be solved by walking towards or away from your subject. Unless you’re a nature/animal/sports photographer, it’s probably more essential to go wide-angle to take in scenery, buildings, and landscapes, and a 50mm (75mm equivalent) for portrait shots.

So recommendations for backpacking- if you want to go as lightweight as possible, get that 50mm prime lens (good for portrait or object shots like food), but you’ll also want a wide-angle to carry along too. It’s up to you if you want a telephoto lens as well.

If you want to practice using the 50mm lens, zoom your current lens to the 50mm setting and see how you’d like it at that setting all the time (because that’s as far and short as you’re going to get with it). Not everyone is used to using primes and the non-zooming aspect. If you’re okay with it, go get the 50mm lens and cut the weight.

Oh, and I just remembered, if you’re bringing a lens like the 24-70mm f/2.8, you don’t need a 50mm since it’s already covered in the zoom range. If you’ve got lenses overlapping the 50mm range, then you don’t really need to worry about it unless you really wanted the f/1.8 capability.

Tramanh - are you planning on going on any major trips this year? Do TELL! I like to live vicariously through you. lol.

Tramanh:  Well I’m going to Austin next week for Nocturnal Wonderland festival (OMGOMG YOU GUYS ROYKSOPP FLADFJSDKAFJLASKJA) and then going to Houston at the end of May to clean out the house and sell furniture.

We were originally going to go to Burning Man, but the ticket situation was a huge fiasco this year.  Since so many people wanted to go this year (including tons of newbs like me and my friends), they sold tickets through a lottery system.  Out of the 8 of us, only 2 people were drawn to get tickets.  Then they had this program where people who decided not to go could put their names back in the drawing and you could sign up to rebuy a ticket and my number was drawn but it went to my SPAM folder and I lost my change of buying my ticket AGAIN.  

Anyhow, Burning Man is out, so we’re trying to plan something international in the fall.  We might crash May and Calvin’s honeymoon in Croatia LOL.  Some other friends are interested in going to Amsterdam (which would be our 2nd time).  Everything is up in the air at this point though.  May and I are pushing for Hawaii in June or July because we need vitamin D STAT.  We have some friends going to EDC in Vegas in June who have extra hotel rooms too, so that’s also a maybe.

Steph - I have three days in Chicago next month. What neighborhood should I stay in?

Steph: The good thing about Chicago is that you can basically take the El (train) anywhere, much like NYC.  So even if you stay in one area, it’s really easy to cab it or take the El somewhere else.

When I stay in Chicago, it’s usually with my friend who lives near Old Town or at The Wit, which is right by River North.

My good friend, Rhona, who grew up in Chicago recommends you stay just outside of Downtown Chicago to fully experience what Chicago has to offer.  She highly recommends Gold Coast area because they have a lot of bars/clubs and shopping all walking distance.

Other places she recommends include Lakeview, Bucktown, Wicker Park, and Lincoln Park.  Rhona recommends staying just outside of Downtown because some of the bars/clubs there are “a) cheesy and b) mellow-out-post-work crowd,” so maybe not the best to STAY in, though great to walk around.

Her all-time favorite Asian Fusion restaurants is Sunda: http://www.yelp.com/biz/sunda-chicago#query:asian

Hope that helps!

hi dru. i have a friend visiting me in houston and i don’t know where to take her (since i just recently moved back). any suggestions? i think you had a post earlier on this. i’ve got galleria, chinatown, rice village…. thanks!

Dru- I actually love Houston because there’s a lot the city has to offer when it’s not sweltering outside. Do you like outdoors? There’s a few options:

Outdoors:

• Herman Park- in the museum district, usually there are free evening performances and concerts at the Miller Outdoor Theater (bring Off mosquito repellant). Or you can just walk around the area (the zoo’s next to it). I like paddle boats but no one I know likes paddle boats and a one-person paddle boat just seems too sad, like a one person tandem bike.
• Discovery Green- in downtown. check the calendar, or come on the weekends and spend $5 to rent a little wind-driven toy sail boat on the lake
• The museum district is nice- Thursdays is free admission to the Museum of Fine Arts, check out the Menil as well

Shopping:

• Obviously Galleria, Rice Village. The shopping outlets suck, but you can always go vintage shopping on Montrose

Dining:

• There are a ton of new food spots opening up, notably Underbelly and Hay Merchant. The Washington strip has reliables like Max’s Wine Dive and BRC. But most importantly, it’s CRAWFISH SEASON. Crawfish and noodles on bellaire is good for asian-style crawfish.

Going out:

Obviously the Washington strip is a decent rival to rice village in terms of bars, with Rice Village obviously a more college-y feel. Haymerchant is a new “upscale” beer bar in Montrose, from the owners of the nearby mixology bar Anvil. Prohibition is another mixology bar in the Galleria area. Not sure about nightlife otherwise as I don’t go out as much anymore, but Belvedere is a central location that’s free (but requires nice attire). If you wanna hit up asian parties, it’s at Bayou Live in downtown on Saturdays. Hipsters go to Boondocks and Poison Girl I think.

And on the weekends, trips to kemah, nasa, galveston, austin blahblahblah. I guess too much hasn’t changed since you’ve been gone, though a ton of those $20 reflexology/foot massage places have opened up on bellaire.

Too bad your friend just missed the Houston rodeo. That would have been fun. But other than that, Houston is mainly good for just eatin’- bbq, crawfish, asian food are good mainstays.

Dru, I want to go to Japan but i’m not sure how much i should save up for because I know it’s extremely expensive there. I’m not looking into staying at a 5 stars hotel, something decent and safe is good. What about food and transportation?

Dru- Man, I don’t know about you, but each of the three times I went there, Tokyo felt INCREDIBLY safe. I could be walking home by myself at 2 AM on a dark street and there might be one other person walking around and I wouldn’t think a thing of it.

Japanese is really as expensive as you want it to be. If you’re looking for cheap places, you could look up ryokans ($59-100/night). You could stay in those capsule hotels like my cousin did, and those are similarly priced. Or you could look up extended stay apartments which run to maybe $120-150/night. It’s been a few years, but I think I used http://www.vacationhomerentals.com/ to book a small apartment for a week when I took my parents and brothers over there. They’re super nice and polite and very helpful. As for outside of Tokyo, I’m not too sure.

Transportation around Tokyo is pretty easy and very efficient. Take the subways- they’re clean, on time. Don’t eat on the subways though (it’s rude). They don’t cost that much to get around (I dunno, $2.50 on average to get to different parts?). Because I was so intent on going everywhere, I think I spent maybe $15-20/day on subway fare. But you can definitely walk or stay in one area if you want to cut back on subway costs. If you’ve got a map, you can literally walk from one district to another because the districts are sometimes pretty close together (I feel like shibuya to harajuku is like a brisk 20-30 minute walk and I’ve done that walk plenty of times). The lonelyplanet (or was it time out tokyo) guidebooks have reasonably good maps, and also look for the free maps outside of each subway station. Cabs are pricey. Subways stop running at… midnight? So if you go out, you might be out til the subways run again at 5 AM. But you can find late night eats or a capsule hotel if you need a place to stay until then.

Food can be expensive or it can be dirt cheap. You can get soba noodles for like, $2.50. Mcdonald’s used to have a 100 yen (about a dollar) value meal. You can get shabu shabu for $20+. There’s really a whole spectrum for dining- I think most places you can get a decent dinner for around $10-15. Also, check out Kua Aina in Tokyo- surprisingly amazing burgers.

As for the rest of Japan, I’d only taken day trips here and there. If you want, you should get the Japan Rail Pass which can only be bought outside of Japan- it lets you take the bullet train to different cities (I think it was like, $150 for unlimited travel for a week on a bullet trail back in 2005). However, outside of Tokyo, english speaking Japanese are not as prevalent, but everyone was still nice, patient, and helpful in getting us around. In Tokyo, a lot of Japanese spoke a little bit of english.

Also, save money to buy souvenirs! I love going to grocery stores and buying weird foods for people back home.

Steph, I know you have been in long distance relationships, but I want to ask you both this: there is a guy that I would be dating for sure if he and I are in the same city. We started as friends in university. We started going out on dates last year whenever he and I are in the same town, but it has always been open ended and ‘i will see you again in x weeks’. Hes moving to the other side of the continent (socal), and hes dropping hints to see whether Id ever move there. We both dont want to do long distance (esp long after his move to socal). There is no definite end to this as he is starting a new job there and I am starting my residency here. For me, career wise, its ok because I will get my US license and find a fellowship there. But is it practical to even entertain that idea, as its a big commitment and i frankly dont know him well enough to make a crosscountry move? Or should we just bite the bullet and start a ldr, not knowing where we’ll end up?

Dru- I don’t think I’d up and move with your residency going on. If you had been looking to move to a new city anyway, then moving to experience a new life is fine, but don’t move FOR him. It’d only make sense if you guys had been dating previously and it was a sure thing. What happens if it didn’t work out? You’d be doing residency in a city all by yourself then. BUT, I don’t see any harm in starting a long distance relationship with him with both sides knowing that it might not work out. Skype helps.

Steph: I’m a little confused - are you guys in a committed relationship now?  From what I read, it doesn’t seem like it.  It seems pretty casual and “When we’re in town, we hang out and have a great time,” but when you guys are apart, you pretty much live your own lives and see other people. 

If this is the case, I would just leave things open-ended.  I wouldn’t force a committed LDR; I would let him know that you’re going to keep the door open for him, but you won’t stop living your life for him.  He shouldn’t either.  LDR are hard, but they’re even harder if you haven’t had a steady or committed relationship to begin with.  I definitely think it’s even more difficult to START a committed relationship with distance in between you guys.  Keeping things loose but interested would be my best advice.  This may be difficult because you may WANT a serious relationship, but trust me, it’s HARD and it’s even HARDER when you have to do it without seeing each other.

I keep re-reading the question, and now I think the question is if it’s worth it for you to move to SoCal for your fellowship?  Here’s the thing - you can definitely APPLY for a fellowship in SoCal, but should you SOLELY apply here to be with him? It depends on your relationship with him at the time.  Like DRU said, you shouldn’t move somewhere FOR someone if you two haven’t openly talked about it, committed to it, and are just waiting for the right time.  Having something so casual right now, if you move here for your fellowship FOR this guy, that’s a lot of pressure on the relationship.  A LOT.  You should move where you want to (if it happens to be SoCal, then perfect) but you shouldn’t move with the sole purpose of being with this guy.

Resentment and bitterness will inevitably rise if you move here with the intention of being here JUST FOR this guy.  It might start of small like, “Oh, you’re going out to get beers with the guys?  That’s cool, I don’t know anyone because I moved here for you…” to hearing about how your other friends have different fellowships elsewhere and how you feel you made the wrong decision.

Moving somewhere is a big step so do it for you or for someone who would do it for you in return.  Doing it for someone just “in case” it works out isn’t the right motive and puts a lot of negative pressure on an already unstable relationship.

Do you first and foremost.  If that path means coming to SoCal, then it does.  Don’t bank it on it for someone you only occasionally see.

Dru, I’m going to Austin next month! What part of the city should I be staying at I I love food and shopping? Also, what’s the weather around this time of year? Any must see attractions? What about public transportation? Should I rent a car? Thanks!!

Dru- Awesome! Too bad you missed out on southbysouthwest last week- should be a lotta partying going on. Well, probably better that you’re going next month bc hotels are probably crazy expensive and there will be tons of traffic right now. You should definitely stay downtown- that way you can walk out and run around 6th street at night and it’s a pretty central location. Even if you don’t drink, you should grab food from the BestWurst food cart on 6th and the other food trucks/stands late at night.

Weather in April? Hmmm, it should start heating up, so shorts and short-sleeve shirts should be the order of the day. It might be a little rainy, so just check the weather before you come. Austin is a very laid back whole grain city and of course a college town, so you’re gonna run into a lot of people who either wear only t-shirts/jeans or have that hipster look to them.

Must see attractions:

• You should visit the capitol building (also, my little brother works there, but not the glamorous section)- they have free tours all the time.
• Walk around UT campus.
• Check out the bordering “Drag” to see local hangouts and the ridiculously large University Co-op, where you can purchase everything Longhorn under the sun.
• The Domain is the newer “nicer” outdoor mall about 15 minutes north? If you REALLY want to go shopping, about an hour or less away is San Marcos’ shopping outlets (I think they have Barney’s Co-op outlet there now?).
• Zilker Park is nice if you like outdoorsy things (I sometimes make my brother go canoeing with me on Town Lake).
• Have a coffee about 10 minutes away at Mozart’s coffee house overlooking the lake.
• At sunset, you can go to Mt Bonnell (not really a mountain, just a scenic overlook) about 10 minutes away from downtown.
• At night, of course, you can check out the collegey part of 6th street or go to the hipster bars peppering the area.

There’s a ton more to do, and check out all the food trucks that have popped up everywhere around Austin (Odd Duck and Gourdough’s immediately come to mind, and Flip Happy Crepes if you like that sort of thing).

As for public transportation, you’re going to want to rent a car. There are buses, but I took buses at UT for 3 years and it took like an hour to get to some place that was maybe 10-15 minutes by car.

Dru, I enjoyed reading your posts on Vietnam. I been there awhile back with my family and i find that people are “warmer” nicer, and more family oriented over there. even in the amidst of chaos in saigon i still feel the love and warmth of my family and new friends, where i often can’t find that here. what do you think?

Dru- Thanks! It took forever to write down all my little trip notes and make sure I got down everything right so it always makes me happy when people take the time to read my scribblings.

I think the lifestyle is a lot different because of how people grow up- they all grow up in closer confines, so family is tighter knit out of necessity. Because it’s a walking/bicycling city, you get to know people more and that connects people together too. New York I would imagine you might get to know people better than in Texas where you have to drive around everywhere and everyone’s somewhat isolated. Perhaps in a place as homogenous as Vietnam, it’s also kinder in that most people are brought up the same way. While being a melting pot like the US has its advantages and disadvantages, there are far more differences in the way opinions clash because you’ve got people from every walk of life. My opinion is it’s a little simpler- people tend to stick together because it would be difficult otherwise to make it by yourself in a country like Vietnam. I mean, my dad still keeps in touch with his elementary school friends from like, 60 years ago and they don’t even have e-mail. That to me is highly impressive.

Dru, are you going to Comic-Con 2012? Did you hear the tickets sold out in less than an hour! Have you ever been to Comic-Con? Wonder-Con? For both you & Steph, have either of you been to any type of convention? I will be attending Comic-Com this year with my bf and I’ve never been to a convention before so I was hoping to gain some insight on what it’s like/what I can expect.

Dru- Growing up, I had always wanted to go to the San Diego Comic Con that was advertised in Wizard Comic magazine. This was before comics were in pop culture, before X-Men was in the theaters and the only celebrities that showed up were like, Star Trek and Star Wars actors/actresses and whatever current comic book artist/writer was hot at the moment. I really think X-Men and Spiderman movies catapulted the Comic Con into the pop culture spotlight, and celebrities realized they could boost their careers by showing up to a new demographic. I hear nowadays, Comic Con has gotten way too far from its roots to appeal to a more mainstream audience that wouldn’t even set foot into a comic book store. But back in my comic book heyday, I was young and never had money to fly out to attend. I HAVE been to various conventions in my life though- a comic book convention in Houston once or twice, the Anime Matsuri conventions with Issa, stuff like that. If the anime matsuri convention is any indication, you can expect a LOT of BO (for some people, no deodorant at these things. WHY). Other than that, it should be fun! You’ve got celebrities like Robert Downey maybe showing up for Iron Man, and with the new Avengers movie coming out, I’m sure there will be a celebrity or two around somewhere.

Steph:

In short: Make an itinerary.

Long answer: I go to 1-2 conventions a year for work, including CES, E3, and SXSW.  I’m not sure how Comic-Con works - is it a bunch of panels like SXSW?  Is it an open floor like E3 with press conferences from different companies?  

I would prepare by reading as much as you can on who the presenters are, and what panels are available (if applicable) to create a rough itinerary.  Chances are, other panels, floor openings, etc. will come up and you’ll have to move things around.  If it’s an open floor like E3, you’ll want to see what vendors are there and get a sense of a map of the floor so you know what you DEFINITELY want to hit and which ones are “nice to sees.”  It can be very overwhelming with people and crowds, lights, music, etc., that you can get stuck in a rabbit hole.  Make sure you know at least what you DEFINITELY want to see and make sure you get those out of the way.

Bring a pad of paper and pen, camera, your badges, ID, and business cards.  Having a tote bag to put all of your schwag is probably a good idea too.  And have fun, if you don’t see EVERYTHING, don’t kill yourself.  Most conventions take 2-3 days to fully cover, so make sure to spread it out.

I am going to Ibiza in July for a friend’s bachelorette party. I am so not the party girl and haven’t been to a club in about 10 years so have no idea what to pack! Help!

Steph: If you haven’t been to a club in 10 years, I’m not going to tell you to wear spandex dresses or something inappropriate.

Instead, wear something that you feel confident and sexy in.  I’m sorry that’s so vague - but Ibiza is a pretty big party city and from what I’ve seen, it’s more huge raves than anything.  And why is everyone a go-go dancer?

You could get away with formal shorts and a simple blouse.  If you wanted to dress it up, you could definitely wear a tight-fitting dress and sky high heels.

I’m assuming the weather is going to be warm, so you could pack maxi dresses as well and dress them up for night.