I am quite short. Do you think it’s possible to grow a little bit taller in your 20s? I’m desperate!!

Dru- Perhaps early 20’s, but even then, only marginally. Like less than an inch, if even. Who knows, maybe you will just have a delayed growth spurt if you hadn’t had one yet. I think generally people start shrinking after that.

Are you a girl? Just wear heels! Are you a dude? You need to focus on being rich and/or hilarious or just hang out with your wang out instead. Oh, and I just googled this and this was near the top of my search results- I don’t know how legit it is, but who knows.

as someone who has been depressed, it can be one of the scariest things in the world. you may not have any visible or physical damage but the mind is a scary and powerful thing. the brain tells you things like you can’t do this, it’s not worth it and all these negative thoughts that you never imagined you would have (ie suicide/death). worst of all you feel very much alone. it sounds cliche when you hear it but it does get better. i feel like it’s still considered taboo in asian cultures to speak professional help with medication and therapy but you need to do it. its the only way to get better. steph/dru-i really appreciate both your responses to the depression and recent questions regarding deaths in the asian community. i think something as small as dru offering to talk to someone makes an impact. you are not alone. we’re all in this world for a reason and we should all just try to get along.

Steph: I’m glad you’re able to talk about how scary and lonely it can be but that it gets better.  DRU and I don’t have an expertise in it and want to tread lightly because it is a very serious topic and disorder.  

Thank you reader! =)

Hey Steph, I was really inspired by your blog post about getting back into fitness and healthy eating. I am getting married in about 7 weeks and want to lose about 20lbs before the big day do you think this is doable? How is your progress going? Can you post progress shots?

Steph: Oh man, I was TOTALLY into my fitness and juicing and smoothie regimen.  Until….WORK.  Confession: I’ve been in Austin for the past 2 weeks and will continue to until the end of June.  I’m flying in Monday nights, flying out Friday nights, staying in a hotel room, working in a gray windowless room for 18+ hours a day.  IT IS BRUTAL.

But because of it, I have NO juicing (I don’t think TSA will allow me to carry on my Breville), no regular exercise routine, and no TIME (or leftover energy).  But the good news is, my coworker and I do run every to every other morning on an Austin trail. No matter how late we go to bed, we wake up at 6:30 to go for a 45-60 minute run/walk.  It’s the only chance we get to be outdoors and active.  We take what we can get!

I know as you guys finish school (finals!) and juggle work, it can be hard - I HEAR you.  My biggest thing is for you guys to have a “better than nothing” mentality, meaning, even if you’re exhausted, walk for 30 minutes.  It doesn’t need to be a full-blown workout.  Even if you order take out, try to add a salad or a side of broccoli instead of beans (stupid Tex-Mex, everything has a side of beans!).  I’m still focused on switching one terrible thing for one good thing - I drink sparkling water instead of soda.  I drink soy milk in my coffee instead of flavored creamer.  Those small things help, and they help a lot.  It’s about the choices we make.  Yes, I could eat a blueberry muffin with crystalized sugar on it…OR I can eat a banana and some granola.  

Anyway, I digress, back to your question.  Can you lose 20lbs in 7 weeks?  Yes you can.  Is it realistic and healthy?  Not without proper supervision and a DRASTIC change to your diet.  My friend is seeing a nutritionist and has lost 13lbs in 3 weeks…so yes, you can lose 20lbs in 7.  But here’s the thing - she has cut out ALL sugars (no fruit, no alcohol, no juice, only certain veggies), all carbs (no bread, which of course, has sugar, no rice, etc.), and has to supplement her diet intake with special smoothies/shakes.  She also has to use a second form of birth control because losing that much fat/weight means your estrogen levels go a little wonky. She can’t really exercise because it would burn the muscle versus the fat, since she’s losing so much fat so quickly.

If you don’t want to pay $$$ to have someone take your urine samples (true story), you can focus on cardio and strength training (e.g. try doing pilates which is a form of both) and cut back on carbs and sugar.  I think without a dietary plan, it might be difficult, but you can definitely do it.  Write out what you need to eat in order to get to your goal, do not just willy-nilly this, because then all of a sudden it becomes, “I’ve been doing so good, I can eat a piece of cheesecake!” NO YOU CANNOT.  You have to stick to your guns and focus on losing the weight and shredding fat for muscle.

Incorporate more filling fiber and greens, versus carbs and sugars.  Look to healthier calories and more filling calories than just empty calories.  Unless it’s fresh-pressed juice, juice is just empty calories and sugar.  Eat whole fruit instead of drinking juice.  Hydrate yourself and get the appropriate amount of sleep (at least 7 hours) and try working out 4-5x a week.  It’s amazing how your body will change with BOTH diet and exercise.  

So I gained about 20lbs over the past 6 months and I am really disappointed in myself because none of my jeans fit me anymore. I have decided to try and lose the weight in order to fit into all of them again. But in the meantime I don’t have clothes that fit me anymore. Do you think I should invest in 1 or 2 pairs of jeans in a size that fit me now or should I just stick with what I have to motivate me more to lose the weight?

Steph: Ah, this is a mental game: If you buy the jeans that fit you now, will you continue to be motivated to lose the weight or will you feel at ease and lose your momentum?  But what are you supposed to wear in the meanwhile?

Personally, I am always a firm believer of buying clothes that fit you NOW, not clothes that will fit you in the unforeseeable future.  No one likes muffin tops or stretch out zipper folds (not that you have any of that), but it’s just not comfortable for you.

If you can continue to want to lose weight on your own without the pinch of the seam, I would suggest you buy clothing that fits you now - maybe not INVEST in a pair of jeans (like Sevens or anything), but try going to F21 and buy appropriate-fitting clothes as you transition into a slimmer figure.  That way, you can continue to look good while you finish your quest of losing weight.

Good luck!

what is depression

Dru- A lot of people throw the term around loosely for a very short term instance, such as “Oh, I just failed my test, I’m so depressed” or “My boyfriend just broke up with me” or somesuch. In reality, it’s a very real, serious mental state that- for people who actually have clinical depression- should not be taken lightly. It can happen to people who are seemingly happy on the outside and you’d never know they were dealing with it and can be triggered without even knowing why.

I’m clearly not qualified to diagnose or even talk about it- everyone goes through their ups and downs in life, but I don’t think as many people actually hit depression as it is in a clinical sense when they say they’re depressed. Perhaps you’ve heard of hyperbole and a half- this was the entry that popped up in my mind when I first read your question.

This definition from the National Library of Medicine should give you a start if you would like to know more. If you feel like this is you, avoid drinking (it tends to be a depressant) and definitely talk to someone about it. Heck, feel free to e-mail me if you just need someone to talk to.

Steph: This is DEFINITELY something you need to see a professional for - even if you want to know the definition or the symptoms and signs to understand if you could be at risk.  It’s pretty dangerous and a lot of times hidden, so if you FEEL like you could POTENTIALLY be at risk, I would go see a medical professional as soon as possible.  

I am not going to define it or list out symptoms, because I work in advertising and would not be remotely qualified to do so.

tramanh! i got a bunion, too. i would love to get it removed but surgery is not an option so i just deal with it. have you tried yoga toes or those toe spacer-like things? how do you deal with wearing open toe shoes or sandals? sometimes it’s embarrassing. flat and an extra toe sticking out!

Tramanh: Literally, the same day that I posted about having a bunion, Steph sent me a link to those toe spacer things and suddenly, it became very necessary that I own some sort of bunion-alleviating tool so I ORDERED THOSE YOGATOES SANDALS. They haven’t arrived yet, but I totally bought a pair that same day! We’ll see how they go.

do you floss before your brush your teeth or after?

Steph: Definitely before.  I want to get all the food and plaque out of the crevices before I brush and rinse it away.  If you floss your teeth afterwards, doesn’t the food that you’ve just removed stay in your mouth?

Dru- Uh, yes, floss. Yes, I do this activity, as I tell my dentist when I see them and my gums look like red river deltas between my teeth after they floss during cleaning. I actually do them after I brush, but rinse my mouth out after. I dunno, it’s so time consuming I save it for last.

Hey Steph, I’ve been dealing with some serious eczema issues for the past two months. I have no idea what’s going on and doctors don’t either. I’m going to Mexico in a few weeks so I’m going to have to wear a swimsuit but I have scars pretty much all over my body. =( How to deal?! The only way to hide them would be to wear a full body wetsuit. It’s been really distressing. Everyone is going to look at me like I’m diseased. So sad. But I can’t not wear a swimsuit! I guess this is more mental.

Steph: Have you seen a dermatologist to make sure it’s nothing more serious like psoriasis?  One of my good friends has psoriasis and it can be pretty bad, the scarring, the flare-ups, etc.  Plus they prescribe you a more appropriate topical cream (or perhaps another type of medication, like antibiotics) to help with your eczema.  I don’t know if there is any type of antibiotics for eczema or psoriasis, but that’s something for your primary care physician or your dermatologist to determine.

In regards to yourself and the fact that you are self-conscious, you know always puts me at ease when I get a little nervous about my scars, birth mark, or cellulite?  I think to myself: everyone else is so busy worrying about themselves, they are not even worried about me.  Think about how you’re going to be so self-conscious about your skin, but half of the time, the other girls are worried about how big their butts look and are not paying attention to you and when they do, they’re just envious of your frame.  We always exaggerate how terrible things are (you feel like they’re going to think you’re diseased) when in reality, it’s probably not AS bad and people don’t even notice.

If someone does ask what happened, just be honest: “I’m having a really bad flare up with eczema and the dry heat here in Mexico doesn’t really help.”  Enough said, no need to go into it.

Do you think drinking coffee has any effects on losing or gaining weight?

Dru- Meh, I just googled a few articles. Studies aren’t exactly that clear. Here’s one from the mayo clinic. Surprisingly, it seems that decaffeinated coffee seems to be the one associated with any sort of (I’d say minimal) weight loss, but who drinks that? What I WOULD say is that drinking coffee if you’re not drinking it straight black probably ain’t gonna help- if you pile that thing with cream and sugar, there’s no way you’re going to lose weight.

In short- like everything in life- everything in moderation. I wouldn’t count on it for losing weight or else the effects would be much more noted by now.

TramAnh- I know you have talked about your weight loss before and you had said it was because of a combo of your new acne medication. I hope this question isnt too intruisive but it seems that you might be getting skinnier? By all all means its not a bad thing…just wondering if you have some other type of secret or still do to the medication?

Tramanh:  My weight’s been the same since the last time the weight issue came up. The same or a couple pounds heavier?  I was taking spironolactone for my skin, which is a diuretic, so I lost a lot of water weight, but I think my body adjusted (I’m not nearly as thirsty all the time as I used to be last year), and I’ve also been weaning myself off of it (per my derm’s recommendation).  I started taking only a half dose everyday for the past couple months, and I haven’t taken any in the past month.  Skin hasn’t gone crazy, thank god.

I think a large part is lifestyle change.  I’m generally busier here than I was in Houston, so there’s a lot less downtime (and less snacktime).  Food is healthier here, portions are smaller, and we don’t drink as much as we used to in Houston.  Going out  to drink 3 times a week (sometimes 4 or 5) was the norm back then.  Now it’s usually just once a week, MAYBE 2.  There’s also a lot less drunk late night eating….which I kind of miss.  I don’t even know where there’s a Jack-in-the-Box here, now that I think about it.  

I will say, I’m by no means “fit.”  I haven’t found the time to exercise or yoga in FOREVER.  Probably 8 or 9 months?  This is the longest I’ve ever gone without some sort of physical activity, so I’m really just skinny-fat.  I will also say, this just confirms what Steph and I always tell readers who ask about diet and exercise.  If you want to lose weight, it’s ALL DIET.  I actually STOPPED exercising all together, and the main change in my life has been eating more healthy, eating less, and drinking less.

tram, you mentioned you have flat feet. i’m currently suffering from my flat feet while running and wearing heels. like my arch hurts so bad. do you use any insoles or particular shoes to help alleviate the pain? steph, do you suffer it as well? any suggestions?

Steph: I would be careful to make sure that you’re not damaging your feet long-term when you run and wear heels.  My friend actually found out that the bone under the ball of her foot was DISINTEGRATING and she now has to wear special in-soles and can’t wear any type of sandals, heels, or even most flats. :(

See an orthopedist if it bothers you a lot - he can tell you anything from what insoles you might need to changing your running stride.

You can also try those Dr Scholl foot analysis thing - Ryan has plantar fasciitis and has to wear specific insoles and a boot to bed.  I don’t think I have flat feet - my feet don’t hurt when I run and actually too much arch support is more hurty than helpful.

Tramanh:  If your arches are constantly hurting, you should probably see a doctor in case you cause permanent damage.  But if it’s just occasionally when you wear some shoes, putting in an arch support helps.  When I first started running, and before I got professionally fitted for shoes that were made for people with low arches, I put arch supports in my old running shoes and the difference was like night and day.  My arches and knees instantly stopped hurting after my runs.

They also sell small arch support gel things for your regular shoes and heels that may help.

It’s sort of my “thing” to almost never wear flats, but really, a lot of it is because wearing flats can be more straining on my feet than wearing heels is.  I should probably see a doctor too….I’m actually scared I need bunion surgery (lol gross) forreal and will need to be on crutches/wheelchair for a while.  SO INCONVENIENT.  Terrible, I know.

Hey Steph & Tramanh, I’m not fat but for some reason I have these stretch marks(?) or whatever scarring near my butt area! I just noticed it when I was wearing a bikini to the beach =( I’ve never been fat, (weighing at 100lbs) and 5ft in height. Is it from wearing skinny jeans? =( Do you girls have them too?

Steph: Usually stretch marks happen you gain (or lose) weight quickly and your skin didn’t have time to adjust.  Since you have such a small frame, even if you gain/lose a few pounds, stretch marks can likely occur.

If you’ve been steady for the past few years, unfortunately stretch marks (and cellulite) are genetic.  So if your mom and family members have them, you’re much more likely to have them too (even if you didn’t lose/gain a lot of weight).

There are OTC lotions/treatments for stretch marks, I haven’t used any because I have more cellulite than stretch marks.  If those OTC treatments don’t work, there are treatments your derm/esthetician can provide (like what the Kardashians do) - but those are super expensive.

No, you did not get stretch marks from your skinny jeans.  Maybe you had imprints from the seams of the jeans, but those are temporary.

S, how would you handle it if R gains 30-40 lbs after a few years of marriage? Would you call him out straight up, deal with it, or try and cleverly incorporate healthier living habits when possible?

Steph: Ha, Ryan actually has gained weight since we started dating, but if he gained more weight, I would just encourage the BOTH of us to work out and eat healthier.  Let’s be real, I definitely control what Ryan and I eat when we’re together, so if I’m in control of it, I’ll influence us to eat better and live a healthier lifestyle.  I know when he’s at work or with friends, he can do, eat and drink whatever he wants, but I would definitely be like, “Hey, let’s make sure we try to eat healthier to live a better life.”  Also, Ryan’s not completely unaware, he wants to look/feel good, he wants to be active and make sure his body isn’t falling apart on him.

I wouldn’t bring up the fact that he’s gained weight crassly, that’s just mean…I wouldn’t want him to do that to me.  We joke around a little, but I’m not explicit.

I’m not a big drinker and I hate the way alcohol tastes. What is the best drink to order that masks that gross taste of alcohol? Does such a sweet/yummy drink exist?

Steph: Yes, they’re called shots with chasers, haha jk.

I don’t LOVE the taste of alcohol either, most of my drinks have a hint of alcohol, but it’s not like I’m drinking Grey Goose on the rocks.  Some of my favorites that are tasty:

• Any fruity martinis (Sour Apple, Lemon Drops, etc.)
• Nuts & Berries (this is usually a shot)
• Scooby Snack (this is also usually a shot)
• Vodka & Pineapple (this really cuts the taste of vodka)

how do you tell people that you have depression (I’ve been trying hard to keep it hidden)? I’ve started being interested in this guy but think it would scare him away. I haven’t told my friends as I’ve been holing myself at home more. I’m scared to tell people and how they they will react …but it’s been hard to hide it. I also wanted to keep it quiet to not add to the rumor mill aka the haters. thoughts?

Steph: Depression is a serious matter and it’s not something that anyone should or actually does make fun of.  Sometimes we think that it only fuels other people’s fire to hate on us or to make fun of us, but if people DO do that, then they really have no idea how debilitating and horrifying it can be for those who suffer from depression and those around them.  

I would talk first to your family and close friends - they’re the most supportive, they always have your back and they can guide you into not only getting the help you need, but also coaching you telling other people, if that’s even the correct course to take.

I would simply have maybe 1-2 friends over (or 1-2 family members) and let them know lately you’ve been in a slump and feel like it’s a lot more serious than just the ‘case of the blahs’ - if you recognize that you have depression or you’re feeling incredibly anti-social, they can be there to help.  Do not be afraid to ask for help.  You are not burdening anyone, you are not being pathetic or weak - friends and family are always there to support and help loved ones - don’t feel too proud to ask for that help.

Once you talk to those who are closest to you, you can decide if you should tell the guy you’re seeing.  It’s fair to let him know you have your struggles but are in the process of working on it and addressing it.  If he’s a stand-up guy, he will be there to support you and to help you through this.  If he’s a dick, then he won’t and you shouldn’t be with someone who’s a dick anyway.

Stay strong and believe in yourself - you can tell your close friends/family - that’s what they’re here for and that’s what you would do if the roles were reversed.  Seek help through them and from a professional.  Best of luck.